Funfetti cookie dough is cookie dough that tastes like cake batter and requires no baking. The ideal snack for times you really want some cookie dough but can’t bear the thought of turning on the oven. Sprinkles, too!

Week two of the ramen and funfetti challenge! This week’s funfetti recipe is Funfetti Eggless Cookie Dough because I wanted something fully no-bake, with no use of a microwave.

I must begin by apologizing for these photographs. It was really 100 degrees (at 7:30 p.m.) when I took these images, and the dough was melting as it sat. There’s some irony in the fact that I created a no-bake dish to prevent heat, but ended up in a sauna, which wrecked the photography. Sigh.

Anyway. Regardless of how it seems in the photos, it is cookie dough consistency. This is the remedy for when all you want to do is shove a spoonful (read: ladle-full) of uncooked cookie dough in your face while watching House of Cards.

There is no egg, and to be honest, I leave off the milk most of the time and it is still delicious. You could make this fully dairy-free if you wanted. Easily.

You cannot bake with this. Don’t even attempt! There is no egg and no baking soda. There is just no baking. Do not attempt it. You have been forewarned.

This isn’t simply regular cookie dough with sprinkles on top. No sir. This is cookie dough with a cake batter flavor. You must have heard me. I’m breaking the rules of desserts here. It’s cookie dough with a cake batter flavor. It’s normal to feel perplexed when you take your first mouthful. Just go with it.

I ran out of light brown sugar (blasphemy! ), so I substituted white cane sugar. Light brown sugar imparts a more traditional cookie dough taste, although white sugar would do in a pinch.

This recipe produces plenty to share with your friends, but if you just want it for yourself, I suggest preparing the full batch and storing any leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator. I don’t share, and I’m not very good at portion management.

Let’s move on to add-ins. Nobody can tell me that it isn’t wonderful precisely the way it is. Makeup is not required. However, for the purpose of argument, suppose you wanted to dress it up a little. Maybe it’s dating night and you want to dress up.

You may try adding some small white chocolate chips. Since we already know how delicious the combination of cake batter and white chocolate is from last week’s funfetti dish, why not?

Yes, yes. Take a look at it. It’s as if we used only a smidgeon of highlighter and contouring. It’s understated, but it really pulls out the color of the sprinkles.

Would you want some small semi-sweet chocolate chips now?

We’re definitely on to something here. It’s as if I applied a layer of mascara and now everything stands out!

Yet there was still something lacking. Well, I see what you mean.

ADD ADDITIONAL SPRINKLES.

[crazy laughing]

Because there is no such thing as too many sprinkles.